Tuesday, 12 December 2017

We All Need Time for Ourselves // #blankthoughts

Sometimes we all need time to ourselves. 

Recently I've found myself in desperate need of more 'me time'. I found myself comfortably sitting in my room and choosing to focus on other things to 'sort my head out', rather than just try to carry on as normal and socialising in the kitchen with my flatmates.

It's difficult to explain- but essentially I allowed my anxieties and past 'issues' to take control of me, even though I had no fundamental reason to let them. I felt unbelievably excluded from the people I live with (for no reason whatsoever) and it meant that whenever I walked in a room I felt heightened tension that simply didn't exist. 

I started to question whether I fit in within our little dynamic anymore, whether the seven incredible flatmates I lived with truly understood me, and accepted me for the honest version of me I was living as, or whether I needed to change in order feel comfortable.

I took time for myself to slowly digest how I was feeling as well as try to pinpoint why I was feeling this way, and now it has been just over a month and frankly I don't think I'm any closer to knowing what really triggered it, however, I know I am happier. I do know that I'm happier because I'm caring less, I'm not afraid of saying I need some time for myself to get my head around something. 

In the past month I've found myself forming relationships/strengthening friendships with people through talking about anxiety and other personal problems. Some of these people I was/am fairly close with and it was a topic that was always glossed over rather than being thoroughly discussed, others are people I have never spoken too before, but don't see going anywhere anytime soon. 

Is it a strange thing to bond over? Not at all. Mental Health is normal.

'We need to openly talk about our feelings to truly understand how we feel.'

Anxiety & Mental Health issues really shouldn't be brushed past, and I can't stress enough how important it is to talk to someone about how you feel. Bottling up you're emotions will only hurt you more in the long run- trust me I've been there MANY times. Be selfish. Say how you feel. Just understand that sometimes how you're feeling might not make sense to people completely, but they will always have you're best interests at heart.

We all need time for ourselves, and this past month has made me feel the strongest, happiest and clearest I have felt in a while...

Meilla, Yvie, Jonah, Sophie, Ed, Esther & Lyle- I hope you liked the cupcakes...you guys rock 

Beki x


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