Tuesday, 5 September 2017

Then vs. Now

'Now and then it's good to pause in our pursuit of happiness and just be happy' - Guillaume Apollinaire

Three and a half years ago I created this little space on the internet, and my intentions back then were very different to what they are now.

Back then was the time that blogging and vlogging suddenly appeared to be becoming mainstream, but people would still question the thought and idea of people talking to a camera. 

I can't tell you how many times I filmed, edited and nearly uploaded beauty videos to my channel. Yes, I love makeup, and a couple of years ago the idea of being a beauty blogger filled my heart with excitement, so much so that I nearly didn't want to take the ambition I had for music, writing and performing to level I want it to be back then. Where as now, yes I still watch beauty videos and think, 'hmm maybe I could do that', it just isn't something I physically see myself doing or working towards.

In 2015 & 2016 I took my blog unbelievably seriously, and wanted it to be seen as a professional portfolio/like a platform to help me get somewhere, and whilst I still want this, I felt myself forcing blogposts about the makeup I love in an attempt to gain a following.

Late last year I fell in love with blogging again, so much so that up until March this I had a pretty decent routine of writing and uploading, whilst creating the content I wanted to create ready to try and showcase for when I didn't get into theatre school and wanted to try other things. Then audition season hit, I surprised myself by somehow getting in to London College of Music, and I haven't really written anything since.

Truth be told, I still adore this blog as much as the day I created it, it holds such a special place in my heart that if I ever gave it up I really wouldn't know what to do with myself. Because even when I'm not frequently posting on here, I'm sat thinking of things I can write about, and in my heart I know the opportunities that will/could surround me in London are simply worth waiting for, and if that means sacrificing a few blogposts along the way, then so be it.

What I'm trying to say is, we have to try things in the way that seems best at any current time, and even if those situations suddenly seem terrible or a bad idea a couple of years later then so be it- because they were the right decision at the time.

Beki x

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