Saturday, 11 November 2017

Back in the Swing of Things // #blankthoughts

It’s been my mission to make October/November the months I simply sort my life out. I’d say I’m 40% of the way there, which doesn’t seem like much, but I really was just taking everything as it came throughout September and not forward thinking anything in the slightest.

I’m pretty much on top of uni work, I have a routine and I know where I can be flexible, and equally where I need to be strict on myself.
For example, at the weekends I limit myself to doing little-no uni work. I work in retail on a Saturday which leaves Sunday for me to do all the ‘adult’ jobs/things I need to do. This also means I can happily sit on my bed and binge watch a series without are care or feeling of guilt, and likewise, if I find myself doing some work it’s less to do the following week.

I’ve found the social side of uni distracting in a good way since being here. I’ve loved (and still love!) knowing that some of my closest friends at uni are literally a flight of stairs away, it's amazing- especially when you're having a crisis about the phonetics you don't know how to decipher.
Yes, copious bottles of wine have been drunk since September until now, they've contributed to many a funny quiet night in or a party, some of which are my favourite memories of university yet- and somehow I know I won't be giving them up anytime soon.


The other day I made a conscious decision that I want to attempt to blog everyday in December again this year. I say attempt, because as well as 31 semi-original content ideas to photograph, write and schedule, I'll also need to prep for formative uni assessments, general writing for a little or something I need to do...(when I can share more I obviously will!) along with the full excitement of Christmas and moving back to Plymouth mid December? Yes, I am mad.

 Last year was hard enough without half of what was written in that list, but I am really feeling the best/most productive I have felt in an awful long time at the moment, and I don't want to waste it.

Beki x

Saturday, 21 October 2017

You do You for a Reason // #blankthoughts

I’m a firm believer in making the most of things when they happen, whether this is in your personal life, your ‘work’ life or just at the things that you enjoy. 

Before moving to London I was desperate to put myself out there and almost see university as a thing on the side. I had been advised a year earlier by a couple of industry directors/producers/people to look into session work/building the basis of my ‘career’, however this was something I couldn’t realistically do when I was in Plymouth. When I first got here at the beginning of September I still had this intention, however no sooner I got in the routine of my new timetable and instantly fell in love with my course, I found myself not striving/thinking about the idea of doing so many other things as well as uni. 

Part of me believes the reason that I saw university as a thing on the side was down to the past three years I had been thinking ‘was this really going to be a thing?’ or ‘what do you do if you don’t get in?’ I had become so used to the idea of never attending university/drama school that it just seemed easier to focus on another path and see if anything came of it whilst still auditioning for courses.

However the second I started studying in class again I felt like the little girl who had dreamt of being at theatre school since however old. I suddenly didn’t feel the need to justify that what I was doing was right for me or helping me for the future, because clearly all my daydreaming had paid off.

I am a creative thinker, I will never stop writing or coming up with new ideas for things. Truth be told I’ve written a good few thousand words towards different ideas since being up here, and it would be lovely if at some stage I could get them to a standard where I could do something with them then that would be amazing, but until that moment I’m happy with just writing and seeing what else comes to mind.

Remember you do you for a reason, no one can decide what’s best for you if you ultimately know where your heart lies.

Beki x


Sunday, 8 October 2017

Hello London

Hello London, 

I wish I could say 'Hello Wembley' to make this phrase fit perfectly, but 'Hello Brentford’ will have to do for now! (Although, I can see Wembley Stadium from my kitchen window, so that’s just as close- right?!) 

I can’t quite believe I moved to this beautiful city one month ago. Since the day I unpacked my things I’ve felt completely at home with living in this busy inner city life combined with the craziness that is university. 

Before moving here, I did have my doubts about whether university/theatre school was right for me, however no sooner I had enrolled I felt like the little girl who had been longing to study for as long as she had, and all those years of hard work and auditions were worth it. I can now confidently say I am so happy I waited to get into somewhere like LCM rather than just accepting a place on a course that was kind of what I wanted in the South West. 

I'm at the happiest I have been in my life in the four short weeks I’ve been living in London, and it's purely down to the atmosphere surrounding me. I’m surrounded by lovely course mates who all want the best for each other (YES, it IS possible for Performing Arts students not to be bitchy!) whilst also having a new found sense of freedom that I simply didn’t have in Plymouth. 
I’ve mentioned before how I go through phases of productivity and creativeness, but there’s something indescribable about being surrounded by people who all want the same/similar things as you, which pushes you to be the best version of 'you' you can be. 

I’ve also drunk copious bottles of alcoholic ‘things' (specifically wine) since being in London, but hey, it’s medicine (Annie musical fans will get the reference…I hope!). 
Jokes aside, I do believe I’m balancing the social side of uni and my little anxieties/fears of going out well. I’m unbelievably lucky to live with seven other flatmates who understand it all and support me when I’ve felt a bit funny (and there have been a few occasions since being here!). It really does make the living away from home side of things a billion times easier.

Don’t get me wrong, in true Beki Blank style I’ve had my share of dramas since being here- losing my bank cards, cancelling them and then finding them a few hours later was probably the peak in what I refer to as the craziest weekend of my years so far (so much happened- maybe one day I will share it all!), but I can laugh about it all. 
It’s all memories, I’m safe and most importantly I’m happy. (shoutout to those who helped & hugged when I did eventually have the long awaited meltdown a few days later… you know who you are and I’m very grateful  )

And that’s it I guess- London has always been so special to me and living here has reminded me why I love it so much- except for shopping malls being open later which means my shift in retail will more often than not always end at 11pm, but you win some and lose some!

Here’s to the next three years in London…and hopefully a few more after that!

Beki x

Tuesday, 5 September 2017

Then vs. Now

'Now and then it's good to pause in our pursuit of happiness and just be happy' - Guillaume Apollinaire

Three and a half years ago I created this little space on the internet, and my intentions back then were very different to what they are now.

Back then was the time that blogging and vlogging suddenly appeared to be becoming mainstream, but people would still question the thought and idea of people talking to a camera. 

I can't tell you how many times I filmed, edited and nearly uploaded beauty videos to my channel. Yes, I love makeup, and a couple of years ago the idea of being a beauty blogger filled my heart with excitement, so much so that I nearly didn't want to take the ambition I had for music, writing and performing to level I want it to be back then. Where as now, yes I still watch beauty videos and think, 'hmm maybe I could do that', it just isn't something I physically see myself doing or working towards.

In 2015 & 2016 I took my blog unbelievably seriously, and wanted it to be seen as a professional portfolio/like a platform to help me get somewhere, and whilst I still want this, I felt myself forcing blogposts about the makeup I love in an attempt to gain a following.

Late last year I fell in love with blogging again, so much so that up until March this I had a pretty decent routine of writing and uploading, whilst creating the content I wanted to create ready to try and showcase for when I didn't get into theatre school and wanted to try other things. Then audition season hit, I surprised myself by somehow getting in to London College of Music, and I haven't really written anything since.

Truth be told, I still adore this blog as much as the day I created it, it holds such a special place in my heart that if I ever gave it up I really wouldn't know what to do with myself. Because even when I'm not frequently posting on here, I'm sat thinking of things I can write about, and in my heart I know the opportunities that will/could surround me in London are simply worth waiting for, and if that means sacrificing a few blogposts along the way, then so be it.

What I'm trying to say is, we have to try things in the way that seems best at any current time, and even if those situations suddenly seem terrible or a bad idea a couple of years later then so be it- because they were the right decision at the time.

Beki x


Wednesday, 30 August 2017

10 Days in Crete

On Sunday I came home from my holiday to Crete, where I spent 10 magical days with my Mum.

I won't lie, it was bliss. I quickly adapted to my newfound holiday routine of wake up at 7, breakfast at 8 and get by the pool at 9 until 5pm everyday (obviously with many a lunch and pizza break). Then we would go back the room and get ready for dinner and whatever the evening entertainment might be.

I adored being able to lie on my sun lounger and daydream the days away. It really helped me clear my mind over little things I didn't think I'd be stressing about as well as simply thinking about the future.

It was also the first time I had ever felt comfortable in my bikini. Don't get me wrong, I'm certainly not toned or have abs and I could feel better, but I could certainly feel worse and I wasn't going to let an insecurity get in the way of me enjoying my holiday. (stalk my insta @bekiblank_ to see the pics!)

I first visited Crete 10 years ago on a family holiday, and I really hope it isn't another 10 years before I return again...

Beki x


Thursday, 17 August 2017

My Fear of Turning 20

Two months ago I turned 20, I spent the best part of two years prior to my birthday dreading leaving my teens and becoming an 'adult', and I couldn't put my finger on why- until the beginning of May.

I had suddenly found a new confidence within myself, I felt so much happier, less stressed and generally the best I had felt physically in years. I got my email saying I had got into university and I honestly felt unstoppable. It had taken me three years to not only prove to so many people who have told me that I wasn't strong enough to go to theatre school or to consider other options, as well as proving to myself that if you stick at something long enough something good does come about in the end. Over the next couple of weeks I finished my dance course, picked up more hours in work and simply getting myself into the mindset of soon I'm going to be leaving Plymouth- and that is scary.

It was when I phoned my friend on the train on the way home from another audition a month after my birthday and when I knew I hadn't been successful, in that I realised why I wasn't bothered about getting that opportunity. I already had 'proper' plans for the foreseeable future, and wasn't freaking out in the back of my mind about the fact I had no life plan.

You see, I accepted when I was 17 that I wouldn't graduate at the 'same' time as everyone else. I stuck to my guns and made sure I only applied for the theatre & music schools I could see myself going too. Sure, I've also had so many other auditions for different things as well as universities, and whilst those opportunities would have possibly lead me to a different pathway now, I'm currently the strongest I've felt mentally in what feels like forever. Sure, I'd love to be graduating and breaking into the big world of work next year, but that simply isn't an option- and I'm okay with that.

People joke about being in their twenties and not having their life together, and whilst I've only been twenty for just a couple of months, I know exactly what I want in life now, and it's just a case of making it happen. Regardless of what people say, twenty does sound so much older than nineteen, and frankly I've loved turning around and saying to people that I'm twenty years old, heading to theatre school with a long list of ambitions that I don't plan on letting go of.

If there's one thing I've learnt in the past two months, it's that you have to be confident and comfortable with your choices, else no one else around you will be.

See you soon London...

Beki x


Thursday, 13 July 2017

Charlotte Tilbury - Sexy Sienna

Charlotte Tilbury is easily in my top three favourite makeup brands. I love her passion for creating products for women (and men!) to feel even more powerful, better and beautiful in themselves; her collections are so diverse that I always find myself looking online or at a counter when I have chance.

So, after a good audition last week (I say good, it went well on my part, but it was another no!), I found myself snooping in her store within Westfield, when suddenly I was at the till paying for a lipstick...oops!

Sexy Sienna is a beautiful coral-nude shade inspired by Sienna Miller, and is a part of her original Matte Revolution lipstick collection from when she first launched her lip products.

It is definitely more on the 'bright coral' side as opposed to a nude shade, however I love the fact that there are the brown/nude undertones within the lipstick which not only makes it a lovely summer shade, but a lovely coral for all year round.

Beki x


Monday, 10 July 2017

My New Found Confidence

So...I last posted on here on the 18th of May- almost two months ago, and wow, I really have missed blogging. I went to say writing, but I have been writing, just not for here...

In a couple of days there is going to be a post explaining the direction I want to take Blonde & Blank and really just talking about my love of writing and oversharing, but for now I want to explain my new found confidence I have discovered since May 18th.

I had planned on taking a little bit of time off in May (even though I originally thought I could tackle Every Day May) due to the fact I needed to solely focus on my practical assessments in college, which were pretty much running my life until the 26th of May. Then, I won't lie, the attack in Manchester really made my heart ache. I felt a connection and it simply didn't feel right to write about everything I love surrounding me and I needed some space. I wasn't at the concert, but as 1) a massive Ariana fan, 2) a human with hormones and a heart and 3) someone who can currently only dream of filling an arena with 'fans' singing my songs back at me, needed time to think of those who were affected those days. I agree with those who say 'we mustn't stop'/'carry on as normal', but on here I needed to stop, change a few things- and now I can carry on. 
(link at the bottom of the post for donations and information for Manchester ♡)


Then a couple of weeks later I finished my HNC Dance Course and turned 20. What a week. I can confidently say it was the best birthday I have had in my TWENTY years. I was surrounded by such a supportive group of people that it made me 're-evaluate' so many things I doubted about myself, and then I 'discovered' my new found confidence.

The picture about was taking ten minutes before a ballet lesson a couple of weeks ago. This time last year I would NEVER have posted a picture of myself with my tummy out, I hated my figure and was unbelievably conscious about the way that I look, and the way that those who surround me perceived me.

 Now, if I am honest, I am a heavier now than I am this time last year, but my figure has completely changed and right now I couldn't be happier.  I don't feel comfortable sharing last years 'before' picture, because if I am honest, it doesn't look like 'happy Beki', it looks like a version of Beki who was tired of putting up sh*t. 

Not only physically, but also mentally, I feel as if I've come so far in comparison to last year. I don't care what people now think of me, I am who I am for a reason and frankly if you've got an issue with me or how I look in that photo then really you need to consider thinking about things in a different way because there are bigger issues in the world than my waist size.

What I'm simply trying to say is, sometimes the unexpected can lead to the good, the bad, and the thought provoking situations that we all need to experience...

Beki x

(Also the sad expression in the photo is because I have limited ballet classes left before I move away- and that's sad!)


Thursday, 18 May 2017

Trainers & A Tiny Clutch - Throwback Thursday

Today's post is a quick appreciation and throwback post to two statement pieces in my wardrobe that I often run to if I need something to make my simple outfit pop.

Last year I was very lucky to receive these beautiful trainers and its matching clutch bag from Ted Baker as a 'well done you passed your A Levels' gift. (*Side note I know some people don't receive gifts/think it's gimmicky and I'm not one to preach or scream for pity, but I had had a very difficult 12-18 months and honestly leaving sixth form was more than enough- I'm still grateful and I probably would have purchased them myself, my family just got around to it before I did!*)


The clutch bag is a rectangular shape made up of two compartments separated with a zip in the middle. It is small, and I can fit my essentials in comfortably- although I will often choose to carry my phone so that it doesn't stretch as well as there being room in the bag still! 

The trainers are made up of a combination or leather and fabric, and in my opinion this is what makes them so versatile, as they are easily paired with jeans for a daytime look, or can be paired with a skirt/crop trouser for something more formal. They are also super comfy and I have found the more I have worn them they have naturally bonded to my feet making every future where even comfier. 

Naturally, I also became obsessed with the floral and citrus print, and as the two statement colours of pink and yellow 'clash' with the neutral black background I knew that these colours would work perfectly all year round.

Sadly I don't think this specific print is available anymore, however every season Ted Baker kills it when it comes to prints (they seriously know how to make a poor student like myself even poorer!) and also always having stock in clutches and matching trainers.

Be sure to have a look- I've already got my eye on my next pairing...

Beki x


Wednesday, 17 May 2017

Love's Labour's Lost - The Beginning

I think that it is really important to find time to read as often as we can- especially when we can end up prioritising social media and other distractions away from reading. Naturally, I tend to read either lifestyle/non-fiction books or a generic rom-com. 

I've read numerous Shakespeare plays over the years having had to study and prepare many of his monologues for auditions. In a 'geeky obsession', there is something really traditional about Shakespeare that I love (and from an acting p.o.v I'd pick a Shakespeare monologue over contemporary any day!), so I've decided to dedicate the next few evenings to reading 'Love's Labour's Lost' - one of many Shakespearean Comedies I've yet to read.

I'm looking forward to it! I've heard a lot about this play however it has never been one I've equally drawn much attention to- plus, it's always good to be finding new monologue's so it should be a good read regardless!

I've entitled this post with 'The Beginning' in the hope that I can update you when I have finished it!

Any other Shakespeare plays you think I should be reading? (I have read so many of the 'classics!')

Beki x


Tuesday, 16 May 2017

MAC Darling Clementine

A couple of months ago I was frantically searching for my 'perfect' orange lipstick shade. For some reason, I felt my collection was lagging a 'perfect'' orange shade, and even though I don't wear on orange lip very often, I made it my mission to find it.

After a very stressful drama school audition I met up with my friend for coffee and catch up. I vented to her my post audition anger/upset and we ended up in MAC as a result of it. I had vowed not to buy anything however I was instantly drawn to the new range of lipsticks which had just been released, and that's where my eyes first met Darling Clementine.

Darling Clementine is a wearable, matte warm toned neon-orange lipstick- or simply, my perfect orange. Years and years ago I used to wear Urban Decay's Super Saturated Lip Pencil in Punch Drunk, however now when I'm wearing a block colour I will always choose a matte finish.

Everyone knows I adore MAC lipsticks, so in this scenario it really was love at first swatch. I've worn it a couple times since I've purchased it and I must say I am really impressed. Like many of MAC's lipsticks its matte formula is really long-lasting without being drying and the colour/pigment is amazing. My only downside is as it is slightly on the warmer side it can make your teeth look a little more yellow than desired, but for such a statement/powerful lip colour I'm okay with avoiding showing my teeth!

Beki x


Monday, 15 May 2017

hay fever struggles // #blankthoughts

This photo was taken in April last year, just before my favourite time of year kicked in- I'm not talking about Christmas, I'm talking about hay fever. (please sense the sarcasm).

For the past four years I've suffered hay fever awfully. So much so that every year I think I am coming down with a virus or the flu because I feel that awful, when in actual fact it's due to all the pollen floating around me.

I can tell you my 'routine' that I get every year, so much so I can predict in advance what is going to be happening on what days. It isn't ideal, but I can now plan and prepare enough to get me through the day.


Days 1-4

Runny nose and runny eyes. Traditional hay fever summed up in a sentence. I feel a bit awful, take them allergy tablets and hope for the best.

Days 5-7

Fully blocked nose, I simply can't sleep at night and breathe through my mouth. This leads to a very sore throat that can sometimes get 'infected'. Yes, really glam.

Days 8-10

Sore throat leads to chesty cough, full on runny nose & eyes as well as unnecessary chocking on air. It is ridiculous.

Days 11-15

Feels like a major head cold/flu. Everything that is listed above with added migraines, constant feelings of hot vs. cold and generally feeling a bit rubbish. 

And this will continue for the best part of two months.


I've been having all of these symptoms above for the best part of three weeks and frankly I'm sick of it. No medication seems to be working, home remedies including honey and lemon are failing me (and a ridiculous allergy to lavender means I have have to steer clear of honey because that always makes me feel worse!) and I need help!

I'm currently taking Piriteze three times a day, nasal sprays and throat spray along with migraine relief tablets if I need them!

Is anyone else out there suffering really badly because of the pretty flowers?! (the struggle is really real.)

Beki x


Sunday, 14 May 2017

NYX Matte Liquid Liner

Last year I got my hands on the NYX Vivid Bright Liners, of which I fell in love with the wand/brush applicator because of its easiness (you can read about these here), however I couldn't give up my trusty pen liner from Soap & Glory.

However after numerous wears of my Vivid Bright Liners (the blue one in particular), I decided to grab this liner to replace my Soap & Glory with the NYX Matte Liquid Liner- and so far I am impressed.

I opted for the matte option over the vinyl option because I generally prefer a matte finish when it comes to eyeliner. I've noticed that this eyeliner is incredibly long lasting and doesn't smudge at all once it has been applied/when you are wearing it throughout the day (so it is a little tricky to clean up if you make a mistake!). I'm still adjusting to using the brush applicator, but that is only because I've used a pen style one for so long.

It is really easy to use and at £6 it so affordable and worth the purchase just to practice/improve eyeliner skills with.

Have you tried this eyeliner?

Beki x


Saturday, 13 May 2017

Lola - Marc Jacobs

I feel like Marc Jacobs scents are loved and adored by many but only a select few are ever spoken about in the online beauty world.

Lola has been one of my top scents since it was first released back in 2009, it was my first 'big girl' perfume and has always been in my collection ever since.

When it comes to fragrance I generally sway between two different scents- either incredibly sweet & floral or musky/powerful. Lola is the perfect combination of the two. Its notes include Grapefruit, Peppercorns and Rose with hints of Pear and Musk- listing the ingredients alone really shows why it is my favourite scent (to me anyway!).

Whilst Lola is my favourite scent, I don't wear it everyday. I'm not 100% sure why, and can only presume it's because I like to switch my perfumes constantly, however if I was going away for a weekend, holiday or overnight trip, Lola is always the scent I take with me.

If you can smell this scent I urge you do it- it's really beautiful, classic and perfect for day or night at any time of year.

Beki x


Friday, 12 May 2017

Nars Soft Matte Complete Concealer

When it comes to concealer I generally stick to my two holy grails- Urban Decay Naked and Nars Creamy. They've been my go-to's for a couple of years now and I never saw myself ever switching them any time soon- until recently.

My Nars Creamy Concealer ran out and a couple of months earlier Nars had launched their Soft Matte Concealer, so I decided to give it a try.

At first I was skeptical, especially as I had tried similar formula concealers from Benefit and MAC before and never quite got the finish or coverage I was after (or if a colour actually matched me).

However, I was instantly obsessed with this concealer, it is unbelievably long lasting, has amazing coverage and as the name suggests it has a lovely matte finish. I've recently had a major 'stress' outbreak and my face has suffered as a result of it, and recently I've been layering this product to cover the redness and it hasn't gone cakes once. 

I ordered the shade Chantilly which is Light 1 and also the shade I used in the Creamy Concealer and the colour is perfect for my pale skin.

The only criticism I have is the fact that it is in a pot, and I feel as if I am using loads of product when applying it either with my fingers or a sponge. 

I really love this concealer and if you get chance to try it I really think you should!

Beki x


Thursday, 11 May 2017

MAC x Influencers // Fleur De Force & Alessandra Steinherr

When it was announced earlier in this year that MAC were collaborating with influencers to create a new collection, I knew this was something I needed to get my hands on- and fast!

I was aware of the fact that Alex Steinherr had visited the MAC labs in Canada as part of a trip with Glamour Magazine (of which she is beauty director- no big deal!), and in the back of my mind I thought they may use her as an influencer in the collection, but at this point they hadn't named anyone so I just presumed otherwise.

Alessandra and Fleur De Force were the two UK influencers selected by MAC to release their very own lipstick (ultimate dream) as part of the influencers collection- and they certainly were the right choice.

Fleur and Alex are both influencers I've followed for a while and I particularly love their day-to-day make up looks, and I hoped (secretly knew) that these lipsticks would be the perfect reflection of the pair of them.

Starting with Fleur's lipstick (pictured left in the swatches above). 'Fleur De Force' is a beautiful neutral/cool brown/pink shade. It has a cream sheen formula and in my opinion is the perfect mix of the likes of Patisserie and Velvet Teddy from MAC. The colour looks incredible on my pale skin tone which I am so happy about as I often struggle with pinky-brown tones. I really love this shade and will certainly be making the most out of the fact it will literally match anything this summer. I'm also looking forward to trying it with 'Staunchly Stylish' & 'Whirl' lip pencils- both also from MAC.

Alessandra's lipstick is a beautiful 'your lips but better' rose pink. It's also on the neutral side which is perfect for the pale types like myself who don't necessarily have a specific undertone in their skin. I love that fact that this lipstick has a Lustre finish (personal favourite MAC formula) and the colour really is my lips but better without looking false. I will be teaming this lipstick with 'Posy Perfect' lip pencil from MAC.

What I love about these lipsticks the most is the simplicity of the colours, yet there are SO many different ways that you can wear them. There are so many lip pencil variations out there that the combinations are endless, and I'm certain that these gorgeous colours will suit everyone.

They are limited edition so if you can get your hands on them I suggest you do!

Beki x





Wednesday, 10 May 2017

All I Want To Do Is Write // #blankthoughts

All I want to do is write. I'm not complaining, but I don't have the time to just sit and write at the moment- and it's a little heartbreaking.

Almost every blogpost that I have written so far this month I've gone off on a tangent at some point and started writing as if it for one of the many book ideas I have. I've kept everything I've written and I'm surprisingly happy with structure and beginnings of each part, however there is still an awfully long way to go.

I love writing, I always have and I probably always will. At the moment the other thing that is constantly going through my mind is the prospect of living in London in September. Yes, I know I'm banging on but I don't think I'll ever really be able to put into words how much that city means to me.

My goal for the end of this year is to have the majority of 'book 1' (no spoilers I'm afraid) written just so it is written, and then if something can come of it, brilliant. 

The world of theatre, creativity, music and writing is all in London, and I can't wait to be busy, prepare myself and write throughout the Summer before I move away...

Beki x


Tuesday, 9 May 2017

You've Got Your Sparkle Back

Yesterday I came to realise that over the past couple of weeks I have felt the happiest I have felt in months, and possibly even years.

*Disclaimer- this doesn't mean I have been depressed, or upset or completely unhappy over the past however many months/years, I just feel happier now than I did back then.*

Anyone who knows me knows there always seems to be a little drama or something happening. If you combine this with 'life in general', my 'currently under control stress anxiety' this bodes well for a need to focus/relax on the future- which is incredibly hard to do when you don't know what the future is.


Applying for theatre schools, dance colleges and professional jobs has arguably been the most difficult thing I have done in my almost twenty years (eek). It is not easy going travelling for hours to the same schools year after year to be told that you just aren't good enough at this moment in time- it is exhausting, but we do it because it's something that we love and need to progress our potential careers with.

The past three years I have spent applying for theatre schools has been emotionally draining, and I'm not saying it to be dramatic (oh the irony), but it really has.

I would say I have a thick skin when it comes to performance and auditions, naturally I do think I bounce off of criticism well and I've always been that 'irritating' kind of person who isn't happy with what they've accomplished until it is perfect. Corrections, redirection and general critique are standard with any performance qualification, lesson or audition, as ultimately it is your opinion against someone else's interpretation. But oh. my. goodness. it is so difficult having to justify to yourself that maybe this year wasn't your year, and that all you can do is keep working, trying and learning until it all works out.

This time last year I was baby sitting fairly frequently as my income, almost every 'normal/proper' job I had applied for was a 'thanks but no thanks'. I was struggling with my A Levels due to a questionable education system that was in place, hadn't got into any of the theatre schools I had applied for and at that moment still had no idea what I was doing once I finished Sixth Form. I was miserable, stressed and not talking to anyone about it (well most people anyway...). And the worst part out of all of it was I didn't (and still don't) have a clue as to what I could do if I never got the chance and had to give up on the idea of performing.

Cut to a year later, I have a stable job in retail, I'm about to finish a one year dance course at my local college, I've made myself constantly learn new material so that I can always 'be on top of my sh*t' in an audition and I'm starting my three year BA in September. If you had told me that a year ago I would have laughed in your face and told you to stop dreaming and be realistic. Most importantly, I am so much happier now than I was last year that I question how I got anything done at all.

Having the 'sparkle' and knowing what I am doing for the next three years has honestly made my life.  Again, that may sound overdramatic, but it just feels amazing knowing that everything I've worked for (and stress 'WORKED FOR' and not been handed on a plate like others may believe) has finally paid off.  

What I'm trying to say is, whilst life may seem a little uncertain most of the time, everything does work out in the end.


'sometimes you have to plough through everything that's a little crap to get the sparkle'

See you in September London...

Beki x


Monday, 8 May 2017

The Nude Obsessive

(not sure what's going on with the lighting- sorry!)

2016/2017 have certainly been the years I became obsessed with nude lipsticks. Last week when I was in London I embarked on some retail therapy and treated myself to two new nude lip products, both of which had been on my 'list' for some time, and I knew I needed to buy them in person rather than just ordering them online.

Firstly I got my hands on Charlotte Tilbury's Lip Cheat in Pillow Talk. I feel like it has taken me forever to buy this lipliner and I have no idea why. You can read my quick review on the matching lipstick here, and the pair together is heavenly. On my skin tone it creates a slightly darker neutral rose shade, and I adore it.

I have been desperate to try some of the Too Faced Melted lipsticks since I first properly discovered the brand last year. I was in the Debenhams in Westfield White City and the sales assistant who served me was the nicest girl ever. I had watched Doughnut and was unsure as to whether it would suit my skin tone or not, as it is what I call 'pinky/milky peach' nude which has the tendency to wash me out, however I went with my gut and imagined it with a darker lipliner (Pillow Talk obviously!) and managed to get my hands on the last one in store! (It was even better when I realised I had a £5 rewards on my Debenhams card along with a gift card to spend!) I really like the formula of this liquid lipstick, its incredibly long-lasting for a non-matte formula and doesn't feel remotely drying on my lips in the slightest.

I've secretly decided that these two shades combined are my new 'secret weapon/lucky charm'- I wore this lip combination in my last university audition last week and it must have worked since I got in!

Brace yourselves for another new post regarding nude lips in the next couple of days, I may have made a naughty online MAC order a couple of days ago...

Beki x


Sunday, 7 May 2017

Dear May // #blankthoughts

Dear May,

For some reason, this month I've decided to write to you everyday, and I'm not entirely sure why. Yes, I have loads of ideas and things to talk about, but I equally feel as tired as I do productive. 

You see, when I complete one task I can complete many, however starting that one task is the challenge.

At the moment I'm enjoying my taking my time and embracing the things that surround me, I feel like I'm living in this surreal 'happy' bubble that is set to burst at any moment; and then I'll be back in normality. 

I don't think there's ever been a part of my life I'd describe as 'normal', I know that everyone has a different life and a different vision of normality, but for some strange reason I feel like my life thrives off of the abnormal. It's funny, but also equally stressful.

Right now I'm enjoying the bubble, who knows maybe this bubble may transpire into something exciting in the near future...

Beki x

Saturday, 6 May 2017

Victoria Secret ~ Bombshell

Ever since I first fell in love with Victoria's Secret many years ago I have always wanted to get my hands on one of their fragrances, however I've always been uncertain of which one to go for.

The past couple of trips I've made to London have ended up in me testing 'Bombshell' & 'Eau So Sexy'. When I was in London last week I finally took the plunge and bought myself the rollerball version of 'Bombshell', and I am obsessed.

So obsessed that I now know I need the bigger bottle so I can inadvertently drown all of my clothing in the stuff. I wouldn't say it is ever going to be a 'signature' scent of mine, however I adore it and somehow see thing being my go-to summer scent.

Bombshell is a bright fruity fragrance with subtle floral tones underneath it. Whenever I smell this scent it instantly reminds me of sun, cocktails and summer- and that's how I envision every VS Angel also smells...

So that's it! I really think if you get the chance to smell this perfume you should, it simply is summer in a bottle. And remember, if you can't be an angel at least you can smell like one...

Beki x


Friday, 5 May 2017

Too Faced Sweet Peach Pallette

Last year I got my hands on Too Faced's 'Sweet Peach' Palette, and it has been a favourite ever since.

When going for a day-to-day 'neutral' look I generally tend to wear champagne and pink tones as I think they suit my skin tone the most. 

Made up of 18 colours, I would argue that the Sweet Peach palette is possibly the most diverse of all the other Too Faced palette's on the market, simply as there aren't as many browns and every colour is wearable for every skin tone. I also really like the peach scent that is in the palette. Whilst it really isn't relevant to the shadows themselves, its quirky and not overly overpowering. 

I'm a girl who can't wear matte toned browns without looking punched in the eye, however colours such as 'Puree' and 'Charmed, I'm Sure' work really well in the crease, especially with colours like 'Bless Her Heart' and my personal favourite, 'Luscious'.

I find the pigment in these shadows varies depending on the colour, as I find 'White Peach', 'Nectar' and 'Peaches 'N Cream' are more on the chalkier side, however on the whole the palettes shadows are pigmented, buttery and long lasting. 

Overall I love this palette, and I certainly would recommend this to anyone who hasn't got their hands on it yet, whether you're a fan of peach or not!

 Beki x


Thursday, 4 May 2017

Everyday May // #blankthoughts

If you hadn't already guessed by the three other blogposts I have already uploaded this month, this month I intended on uploading on here daily, for what I'll be calling 'Everyday May'.

Today's post was meant to be one of many planned lipstick reviews that are scheduled for this month, however yesterday, (3rd of May) I found out that after three years of trying I had gotten into a university/theatre school that I was desperate to attend, and if I'm completely honest, I got home and had a nap because the excitement of it all hit me! (More on this though later in the month when I am emotionally stable enough to write about it!)


The plan for blogging everyday this month is solely based around two things;

 1) Providing I don't stress myself out and forget to do the things that are equally as important/more important than blogging. 

2) That I don't run out of ideas. When I have blogged daily in the past I have always seemed to struggle for ideas around day 20/21 and find myself making up silly ideas to tie me over for a couple of days before the end of the month favourites post falls into place. This month I have plenty of ideas to start with, and I hope you enjoy reading them as much as I love writing them.

Beki x

Wednesday, 3 May 2017

Overcoming Tiredness & Staying Motived

Procrastination is something we are all guilty of. If you deny it, you are either the person we all aspire to be who simply 'has their sh*t together', or, you are lying. It may only be a little thing you put off, but again, we are all equal of it.

I recently realised when I am at my most busiest is the time that I get the most done, and the minute I stop to give myself some time off (which is okay!!!) I then put myself back into a routine of struggling to prioritise and get the extra things I want to do done, whilst only just managing the essentials.

So today I bring you the three simple tips I have to 'overcome tiredness' and stay motivated; I hope they help!


Whilst I am more creative now compared to in my teens, it was in my teens I was my most productive. I had no issue with doing the six/seven hour day at school followed by revision, guide work/voluntary work whilst slowly attempting to teach myself to sing. I had a plan and give or take I knew what I was doing/needing to do each day, and it worked. 

I still have structure/routine at the moment, but it certainly isn't as precise as it used to be. I find that making lists (obvious I know) really helps me prioritise everything I need to do on the days where I don't do much and can be guilty of sitting on the sofa not doing much else.


I briefly touched upon this above, but keeping yourself busy will be the best thing you ever do. I constantly have ideas that I want to be drafting or making notes on, as well as things to write and songs to sing, theres always something you can be doing to be ahead or in the pipeline, so use it to your advantage.


And finally is balance. Balance is key to a healthy mind, and if you overwork yourself you are only going to end up awarding yourself with more time off and then repeatedly be angry about the fact you haven't done as much as you wanted to. I allow myself one day a week where I don't pressure myself to be 'creative', and by that I mean if I want to plan some blogposts or spend an hour or two learning a song then I will, but equally if I spend all day in bed watching my 'Sex and the City' boxset for the 793349th time (guilty...) then I equally don't mind. 

Saturday's are generally the days I never have plans or commitments on, and whilst I will now contradict myself by saying Saturdays are the days I generally get the most done, this is down to the fact I don't pressure myself into getting a certain amount done, and instead praise the amount that gets done instead. 


The minute something you love becomes a chore is the time to re-evaluate whether it's just how you are managing the situation, or whether it really is the right thing to do...

Beki x


Tuesday, 2 May 2017

The Peach Edit

'Preach the Peach' is a saying both my best friend Sophie often use on one another, and now I am sharing this saying with you all. (although not in the same context...) 

In the past few months 'peach' has slowly found its way of transitioning back into numerous peoples colour palettes, whether this be in clothing, makeup or hair colour. 

I've been a girl who has been a fan of the coral/peachy tones since she first started wearing 'proper' makeup (not the glitter all over the eye and not much else in 2008 era), so I rummaged through my makeup collection and picked out some of my favourite peach pieces to share with you all.

The Too Faced Sweet Peach Palette has been in my life since September, and generally, I use this palette almost every week. This is the only Too Faced eyeshadow palette I own due too generally not being a fan of the brown toned eyeshadows and preferring pinks or bright colours. I've got a more in depth review of the palette coming up in a couple of days so be sure to come back and read that, but in the mean time I will say the colour pay off is fantastic and who doesn't want an eyeshadow palette that smells of Haribo peaches? Alternatively, I also really love to wear MAC's pigment in 'Rose' if I want a really strong pink/peach colour.

Nars' blush in Deep Throat is probably my all time favourite blusher. When it comes too wearing blush they say to pick a colour blush that your cheeks naturally flush and this gorgeous peachy pink shade is the perfect colour for me (without looking too much like Aunt Sally!)

Finally, is lips, we all know I am a lip addict and it was a struggle choosing a select few peachy tones to feature. If I am looking for a subtle pop of colour, my go to choices are Chanel's lipstick in Boheme (i.e. the lipstick that disappeared for many months- you can read that story here!), Nars' lipgloss in Super Orgasm or MAC's lipstick in Costa Chic. If I'm looking for a really statement colour I will always choose between Charlotte Tilbury's Lost Cherry or Kat Von D's liquid lipstick in Beloved.

And they are just a few of my peach based picks this season! Have you tried any of these products? Or are there any other peachy pieces I need in my collection?

Beki x


Monday, 1 May 2017

Dear April // #blankthoughts

Dear April,

I'm sorry we didn't get to spend much time speaking with one another, it was a classic moment of 'life got in the way again,' - and this time it really did.

Ever since I last uploaded a blogpost my main priority has been top notes, monologues and movement/dance calls. I've wanted to write, but simply couldn't justify spending time on this, a hobby I adore, over auditions that mean so much more.

I did my final audition a couple of days ago and now I feel like I can fully commit to writing to you over the summer without guilt and enjoying the ideas and posts I make a reality. 

Whilst I don't/won't feel guilt, there is a level of uncertainty, and in the next few weeks I need to make decisions regarding my future which I still don't know the potential outcome of, and that is terrifying. 

Here's to the future...

Beki x
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