Thursday, 15 December 2016

The Girl Who Does Lots // #blankthoughts

My name is Beki Blank, and I like making too much work for myself. I put this down to being overly ambitious and frankly a bit of a stress head, and simply want to be able to be in full control of my life and work in the future.

I set myself constant targets, and more often than not I don't meet those targets, and I'm alright with that, because I do lots, and feel constantly busy.

Don't get me wrong, I know I'm not the only busy person on the planet, but I feel like people often underestimate what I do in my very little free time. For example, 'you're always glued too your laptop'- that would be correct. When I'm not in college dancing chances are I am working towards an assignment, or I am in my part time job in retail, or I'm blogging, or I am singing/learning/teaching myself new rep, likewise I'm learning a monologue, or attending extra dance classes. I then will try and wind down by writing, I love it. I set myself a a target this year of getting 20,000 words of my 'first' book written, simply in my free time and off my own back. I haven't hit that target and planned on writing loads during my Christmas break (which is now non-existent; aaah retail!) and that isnt going to happen, and I'm alright with that. 

I strongly believe in good things come to those who wait or work for it, and if I'm completely honest I feel like I've done an awful lot of waiting. For example, this weekend I'm meant to be away for something which could be a big deal (I say could loosely as the likelihood of it actually happening is slim), but I am SO busy over the next few days and days afterwards that I am basically saying to myself- is it worth it? Is it worth all the travel and hassle and long days for the possibility of being told no? In my head apparently so. 

Its not the first time this year that I've been put in a situation like this, and frankly my little head really doesn't know how to take it. Do I follow my dreams or do I have a day in bed desperately catching up on the sleep I need and miss?

Ultimately, whatever decision I make, I just need to keep reminding myself, that like so many people, I am a girl who does lots, and fingers crossed one day it will all be worth it.

Beki x

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