Thursday, 7 January 2016

Where have I been?

Where have I been?
I always feel so guilty when I don’t post on this blog, especially as it’s something that is so special and so personal to me.
Writing is a creative outreach I look for when singing doesn’t do it for me. With how temperamental my voice can be sometimes its intriguing to wonder what my life would have been if I had never found a love for music.
Both my school and personal life has been incredibly testing of late, having one of your A Levels cancelled due to ill-qualified staff isn’t great. It sucks. I’ve had numerous arguments with teachers who have been ignorant to the main issue- apparently having an opinion over my education isn’t allowed!
All I know is that it’s time for another new beginning- and as my head of sixth form sarcastically put it to me whilst I sobbed my heart out- ‘With your work load decreasing, you have more time for improvement.’
Cutting an A Level may have buggered me academically, but creatively it has given me the nudge I need to prove myself and show specific people that I am serious about what I want to do, and that performing isn’t the easy way out. I have time to be creative and not feel guilty. It’s mainly allowing me to laugh and enjoy things for the first time in a very long time, and I can’t argue that.
There’s too much to dwell on in the past, lets work for the future...

Beki x

Wednesday, 6 January 2016

Stress vs. Guilt // #blankthoughts

Stress vs. Guilt | #blankthoughts

Stress. I suffer it. Yet another blogpost about why haven’t done any work.

I find it difficult to justify writing when so much happens within school- and trust me there has been loads, loads. Loads that I can’t update you on without getting angry, all I will say is it is incredibly frustrating that people get paid to work in a specific profession in which they should support you, and don’t.

It’s hard. Life always gets in the way all the time, but its fine, because once the good things happen, everything will be okay.

Beki x


They say in life if you find something you enjoy you’ll never feel like you’re working, and that’s my goal for 2016, to enjoy and embark on every experience, to hopefully make me a ‘happier’ and a more positive person.

I've never been the one to enjoy or see the 'hype' in New Years, as to be frank you can't just throw away issues overnight because its a New Year. I've decided to post this post now, on the 6th of January, as for me, the hype as settled, and I can carry on as per.
I’ve learnt the types of resolutions that work for me and the ones that don’t, don’t included things such as ‘get fit’ or ‘eat less chocolate’ as I’d never keep to them- ever. However this year I am going to put more pressure on myself to be strict and authoritative and politely ‘get s**t done’.

Early in December I started to do a list system like I did when juggling my GCSEs to plan my life out and get organised. My diary is my everything and its literally the only way I am getting my life together.

Yes there are things I want to accomplish this year, but right now I'd sooner focus on the plans that will make it all worthwhile...
-Do something creative everyday
speaks for itself really...
-See a positive out of every situation
even if the situation makes you want to punch a wall, I just want to be able to justify that everything did happen for that reason. Regardless of what people think or say, carry on a you are.
-Make the most out of every opportunity
Whether this be with singing or writing or just with life in general. I really want to put myself out there more and make the most of every opportunity that gets thrown my way, as I have been very good at not bothering with things over the past couple of years.
And I suppose getting a bit fitter would be an added bonus…

Here's to 2016,

Beki x
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